Oh no 2 more days.

Have been eating too much tibits this new year. Getting fatter and fatter each day. Wonder wad my life after 21 will be. Before that to think what am i going to do after graduation. Definately i will have to get a temporary job cos i dun wan to stay at home and be nagged by my mum everyday.

Admin: boring, sleepy and fattening but simple and no stress.
Sales: too much entertaining, got to meet target, stress at times but fun and unpredicable
My attachment co: Never.... too labour intensive!!

Yesterday, i and mj met up xh after church ended. Supposingly to meet at 1.15pm but she only came at 2.30pm, haha got used to it liao. We had lunch at Pastamania and talk about many things which had missed up on each other. Few weeks before yesterday i met up with xh when she told me to go into a relationship.

Actually xh problem got me thinking. Lots of questions popped out in my mind on the way to church. Things are just so vulnerable and so unpredictable. Rosy and happy in the beginning and lots of feelings for each other which keep things nice and good. But when feeling is gone, what's left? Feeling is not something that should keep a relationship going. We are human, we cannot even control our life, future, character, personality, looks or even speed of hair growth, how are we going to control and the feeling in us? What assurance can we give the other party that everything will be ok? Is things still going to be the same when one day you see that your spouse is 40 years old with wrinkles and big tummy and menopause and say that you still have feeling for her? To me, relatioship should be built on understanding on accepting the other person as who and what their personality is. It is not changing yourself just to gain the likeing of the other party or the other party to the liking of yours. A lie is easy to tell but is never easy to sustain. You can pretend to be very gentle, sweet and understanding for once and twice but you will get tired very soon. How far can love progress this way? You can take my wierd temper and accept my believe for many times but when there is no feeling left, will you still be able to accept the wierd temper and individual believes? So when all feeling went off is it equal to saying goodbye to each other? Are we suppose to let just 'FEELINGS' control our future. Can the word 'feeling' bring you to the destination which you both wanted? If promises are just so weak, why give promises in the 1st place? Making sacrifices just for him.. worth it? Things are never simple. Girl be strong okie? We're behind u no matter what:)

Hey, i know that there are many things which u expects from a relationship but i am not able to give. Can say that i am too conservative or stubborn in my thinking, an alien to you mayb. I haven mastered the guts to openly claim that i am in a relationship with you. Thanks for being there for me always for me to vent my anger and shoot and making me happy.