23/3/09

Tired and irritated looking for job. Sometimes it comes to me that i should just fake the employers that i am looking for a perm job and then retire after afew months. Don't like job agencies for they are blood sucker companies. Paying the employees so low yet still dare to expect so much. Go on leave also must inform them, like in primary school. Waking up early everyday is really a torture for me. Going to work doing the same thing, keeping a smile on the face, pretending to be friendly and sociable and acting like some hardworking person to leave good impression. Seems like attachment in setsco really is a bad experience for me. I fear that my job that i will be finding will have collegue just like them (pretending to be deaf and friendly but backstab and do things which benefit them), having a fierce and strict supervisor(who will scold and make me demoralised when something is done wrongly whether big or small stuffs), having only limited quality workload (doing the same thing over and over again) and having a big boss who takes attachment student because they cheap(afforable=S$440/mth), overly-flexible(just open mouth and tell the student work fast and OT if there is many samples while his full-timers go home promptly and happily), always avaliable (student cannot go on leave for the whole attachment while his all full-timers take at least 3times leave in 6months) and hardworking (cannot be seen slacking or taking time off or even in conversation with others during working hours). During the attachment, i cannot find anyone who is always there for me to rely on and trust. Everyone just seem like a time bomb, evidence recorder and parang holder. In the small small room where i find my rest, count down timer will have to be set though so that no one will suspect. I fear and i dont want to experience that again..

Tired and irritated when i have to do extra household chores like washing the clothes, dishes, wiping tables till ALL STAINS are gone, packing the house and nagging at my siblings to adhere to the house rules and chores. They love doing things where needs lots of cleaning up cos it will cause massive damage to the kitchen. Yet they only give slipshort cleaning at the end. Leaving things everywhere and cant be bothered kind of attitude, i really hate it.

Tired of hearing valguraties. You promised yet it's getting more and more. Your family talk like that but too bad my family don't. So am i suppose to endure that because you are brought up that way casting away the habits of how i was brought up? That particular topic we talked yesterday, whether i am knowlegable to it or not, do you have to sound so sarcastic? cos i dun feel respected. Rushing to get a job, to get busy too and tired before my mind starts running everywhere, hope it will help in someways. Next month, we'll both most likely be busy, hope/so.