Time now is 12.15am. So late yet i couldn't sleep. It's mid april yet i havent received anything from any local universities. Is it good news? Overseas universities usually provide years exemptions. Can start a new of everything over there, people, environment, lifestyle, habits..
Both sides are not giving me any word, I cannot even think what can i do next.

Lots of things is going through my head now about studies. Mood swings when i cannot come to a conclusion. Nothing will last forever which is a problem. I wont know when will the things i have on hand will end and when will the new ever begin. How will things change. Feeling useless. For the past few weeks, be it in front of the computer, watching a movie, watching tv, when walking or talking, when i'm alone or not, just want to keep quiet. Just inside me where all the fiery unanwerable questionair haunting me in the day. Fowning till i awake from my dream. Couldnt sleep longer than my usual and favourite afternoon naps is no more. Want to talk to someone close who had been through all but the answer wont be prompt. Everyone seems busy and far. Appear calm and steady when my father question me about uni. Smile and laugh to maintain to image to people around me that i am Belinda and nothing is wrong with me. Dont want to be a grumbling girl, lousy and moody image. I need to control but i think the turning point of my life is around. Everything seems to be collapsing, I want a shelter to hide under for just awhile.